taketheLEAD Part 2

Why do People Abdicate Control of their life?

Generally, people abdicate control of their life due to some natural, negative human tendencies. These common attitudes impose serious limitations on human ability to realize their full potential. They are the most powerful enemies of success. These tendencies are very powerful because they are self inflicting and inherent human behaviour. You need to be aware of them and make conscious efforts to break away from them if you will ever take control of your life and live a better life. Let me briefly discuss some these natural human tendencies.

Lack of vision and personal core values

Most people don’t have vision and core values to guide their lives. Consequently, they work hard all their lives to help people who have visions to realize them. If you don’t have vision for your life, you will not only help someone who does to make his vision a reality, you will also be forced to live by his core values. The consequence is very simple, he controls your live. People who have vision for their life control those who don’t have.

The tendency to move with the crowd

I refer to this tendency in my pervious article as “The Bandwagon Flu.” This is the attitude of indulging in something just only because that is what others are doing. People do things for no other reason other than to either belong or to avoid criticisms from others. People follow traditions mainly because that is the way they have been doing it. But if you really want to live a fulfilled, prosperous and a life of impact, your actions must always align with your vision and not with traditions or what other people are doing. This again underscores the importance of having vision for your life.

Fear of failure

Due to fear of failure, most people work hard all their life to play it safe and in the process they surrender control of their lives to few people who dare to fail. See, this is the way it works, when you have the courage to confront your fears and consequently get out of your comfort zone to take risk, you are eventually rewarded with successful outcome. The more successful you become the more the control and influence you have on situations and things around you. Someone might say what if the risk does not produce positive outcome? What if I fail? Wait a minute, those things you refer to as failure are not really failures, they are temporary setbacks. Also, you need to understand that you are not a failure unless you accept defeat and quit trying. If you try something and it does not produce the expected result that does not make you a failure. What has actually happened is that you have gained valuable knowledge on how not to do it or how it will not work.  After trying thousands of experiment to invent the electric bulb without result, Thomas Edison was asked whether he considered himself as a failure. Edison replied “Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.”  And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb. Edison succeeded because he did not perceive over 9000 setbacks as failure and he refused to be distracted by negative comments from other people. What people refer to as failure are actually temporary setbacks. However, most people get discouraged by temporary setback and quit. Unfortunately, at times they quit when they are at the verge of success. When you dare to fail and refuse to give in to temporary setbacks, success will definitely come your way.  Listen to what someone said success is directly proportional to failure rate. Therefore, if you want to increase your success rate, just dare to fail more and more. The more you succeed the more control and influence you have on situations around you and consequently, the more control you have over what happen to you in life.

Self Doubt

This is another human tendency that prevents people from exercising their God-given power of control. Everybody has the dream and wish to succeed but only a few has the courage to step out of their shell and pursue those dreams. Majority of the few who are courageous enough to leave their comfort zone, retreat at the sight of any slight challenge. Why do majority of people behave this way? It is because of self-doubt. Self-doubt brings fear and fear paralyzes human capacity to think and solve problem. If you can conquer your self-doubt, you can become successful beyond your imagination. You will notice in Matthew 14:28-31 that Peter was already walking on the water like Jesus Christ. However, as soon as the spirit of fear came over him, he started sinking. Peter lost it because he allowed his self-doubt to bring fear upon him. The fear made him to lose focus and consequently he began to sink. Like Peter many of us allow our self-doubt to either keep us at bay or prevent us from moving forward to realize our full potential. Self-doubt prevents us from doing things that can catapult us into a position where we can taketheLEAD and have control over our lives.


Self-centeredness limits man’s capacity to imagine and have great vision for his life. You cannot achieve anything in life unless you can imagine it in your mind. Whatever you want to become in life starts in your mind through imagination. What self-centeredness does is to limit your imagination only on your personal needs. All you think about is how provide for your personal needs and that of your immediate family. When you are thinking that way, the ideas that will come out of your thinking process will only land you in a situation where your life being controlled by somebody else. That is, you will end up being a small player in your field of endeavor. And as a small player in any endeavor in life, you have very little or no influence on what happens around you.   But when you have a paradigm shift and become others-centered, you begin to imagine doing big things. You start thinking of solving problems not just for yourself but for others. You start thinking of solving problem on a large-scale. This kind of thought generates great ideas on how to solve problem on a massive scale in your mind. Solving problem on a massive scale increases your sphere of influence and your capacity to taketheLEAD and be in control of your life. If you look around, you will see that countries and people who are dominating the world economy are those who have been able to solve problems not just for themselves but on a large-scale for the masses.

From this moment, examine yourself to identify any of the inherent negative tendencies in your life. Make conscious effort to avoid following such tendencies. Stop blaming someone for your situations your destiny is in your hand. taketheLEAD and live your dream!

Thank you for reading. If you wish to receive taketheLEAD by mail, please send ‘subscribe’ to takethelead.ng@gmail.com .

Muyiwa Okeola


About muyiwaokeola

Positive Transformation Agent
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